We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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