I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
