just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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