No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
