Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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