No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
