This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
