Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Verdict: uncircumcised.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize