I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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