so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
