She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
