she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
