Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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