We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
