So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize