She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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