grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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