You're completely useless in the revolution.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
