Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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