Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
