he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
