CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So vagazzling was a success
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
