Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
