Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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