just tell him i said nine months
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
