STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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