is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
