i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
