All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
