Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
