thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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