i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
