Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
