You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
