Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
