it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
