mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I am midnight drunk by noon
We got so high we made milksteak
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
