sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
