were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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