Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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