He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
