I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
