im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
