Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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