I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
