i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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