all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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