eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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