If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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