did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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