She went from zero to smokin in five shots
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
