I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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