theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
