singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize