I wish you could order shots online.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
