dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
