Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
