My nipple is on Facebook.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
