Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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