I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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